Dear Jessica,

Well, it’s here. 7 years ago today, you danced into Heaven and into your beautiful new body. 7 years ago today, you took your last breath here on earth. 7 years ago today, this mother’s heart felt what no mother’s heart should ever feel. 7 years ago today, this mother’s heart shattered into millions of pieces. If I could go back 7 years ago, I wouldn’t change anything. I’d rather have a shattered heart and you receive your new body than to keep you here in the body you were in. Even though it shattered my heart, I had to let you go. You fought a long hard battle and it was time for you to have healing.

Jessica, there are so many things you have taught me. You taught me about love. You taught me about patience. You taught me about grace. You taught me about endurance. You taught me how to laugh. You taught me about the Love of Jesus.

I don’t know what I did to deserve such a precious gift as you but I’m so blessed and honored God gave me you. I try to share your stories and some of my favorite memories of you with anyone who will listen. Purple is a color that is always near or on me. Purple opens the door for me to share about your life, your story. You prayed one time that when you got bigger, you were going to tell everyone about God. Oh, my precious daughter, you are doing that even though you are on the other side.

It's amazing how my heart is so very shattered and in so much pain today (well everyday actually) but yet at so much peace and comfort. The pain of you not being here. The peace and comfort that you are in your new body. The pain of not being able to talk to you or hold you. The peace and comfort of knowing I will be able to hold you again. The peace and comfort of knowing I can talk to you now even though you are not here.

Life here on earth did not treat you kindly but you did not allow that to rob you of a peace that passes all understanding. You knew Where you were heading. 2 Timothy 4:7 was a verse that came to me over and over in the year before you danced away. You fought the good fight and 7 years ago today, you finished your race. Not once did your faith ever waiver. What might have seemed like a losing battle to everyone was actually a victory for you. You won!! That is the reason I can rejoice even though it’s with a shattered heart. YOU WON!!!
I love you, my Boo Head. You are missed greatly but your “legacy” lives on. Memories kept and shared, love given and received, peace and comfort felt and offered. You may be gone from this old earth, but you are completely and utterly whole and healed in Heaven.

“Her chains are gone, she’s been set free
Her God, her Savior has ransomed her
And like a flood His mercy reigns
Unending love, Amazing grace”

This is not goodbye. I cannot and will not say goodbye. This is I’ll see ‘ya soon.

Love forever,
Mom